Master has given me the topic of “New Fantasies”, wow, kinda broad if you ask me. He hasn’t restricted it to sexual fantasies, just fantasies in general, so, let’s see what I can come up with.
Lately, I have been longing for peace. Yes, I fantasize about peace, calm, and no worries. I may not show it, but I have been under a lot of stress. I tend to hold my stress in my jaw, almost grinding my teeth, but not to that point completely. My jaw hurts…constantly. I have a child with Asperger’s Syndrome and the more I read about it, the more I believe that I also have it. One of the points of this disability is that people with Asperger’s Syndrome don’t know how to show emotion like normal people. I have always been this way, and I get accused of not caring, a lot. Thing is, I do care, I do get stressed out, I just don’t show it the same way many people do, because I am not sure what I am supposed to do to show it. I get upset when people say I don’t care, cause I know damn well that I do! I don’t know if a diagnosis will bring me peace or not, but I have been seriously considering reaching out to a doctor about it. Yes, peace would have to be my biggest non-sexual fantasy right now.
Hot rocks on my back. Also known as a Hot Rock Massage. I have never had one, but I love heat. Sometimes in the summer, I will pick up a rock that has been in direct sunlight, and touch it to my skin, just to feel the heat. I get no sexual pleasure from this, I just really enjoy being warm, and look forward to a Hot Rock Massage someday.
I wonder what Master really wanted out of this writing assignment, and so I feel that I must dig deeper than that and move on to some sexual fantasies as well.
Right now, my most exciting fantasy is suspension by rope. I find rope to be so primal and beautiful. To even tie some Rigger’s Gauntlets on my arms excites me, yet I yearn for more. Master has not yet learned suspension, but He is trying. As I type, He is sitting next to me watching Two Knotty Boys videos and playing with rope, it’s so sexy to look over at him and watch his intensity and desire to learn. He does this for me, because He knows how attracted I am to the idea of being bound in the air, completely helpless and at His will.
Continuing on, shall we?
I am really excited about the idea of outdoor sex behind our new house, thing is, it is December and it is FREEZING out, so that will have to wait a few months until it warms up a bit, until then, I can dream about it and call upon those mental images at will.
And last, but certainly not least, I long for Master to put a collar around my neck. We have been married for 6 years now, and when I married Him, the vows I wrote said that I wanted to give myself to Him “Mind, Body and Soul” and yet, I haven’t done so. I don’t feel as if I didn’t uphold my vows, just that I didn’t fully understand what I wanted at the time. Those words were perfect for what I wanted, I just didn’t fully grasp it until recently. Deciding to fully submit to Him has made me so happy, and I look forward to that collar, which I hope will bring my biggest fantasy into fruition…Peace.
